OMG Dalek toy!
-_- Reflecting on my unfortunate pattern of failure
I guess I sort of do suck at relationships.
It occured to me today that “dating” my ex-husband was a little like deciding to follow Magneto or deciding that Lex Luthor was right after all…
It’s a shitty assesment to make (and really sounds juvenille, too…kind of exposes my system of judgement on men in the most idioticly childish way too—) but it really sort of was like that. His greatest flaw was also his most attractive feature too: Ego the size of the Titanic and an absolute conviction that everyone else was wrong. I guess I was kind of cool with that, too. When I was his favorite one, I mean. When someone is capable of so passionately disliking the rest of the world you have to feel pretty special when they have eyes for you…
I guess I just eventually felt like I must be just of the people he didn’t make exceptions for: the rest of the world.
Snooping through his phone, facebook and e-mail account (like a pathetic little bitch, I know…)—proved something else Lex Luthor about him, too—a sense of absolute unquestionable entitlement with WHATEVER he felt he deserved -_-
I wish I could stop feeling shitty about the way things got. I guess I was really hoping we would make it work anyway. Or that I was strong enough to always be the best. In the end my own ego couldn’t take it.
One day I’ll learn.
Oh my Gah I’m pissed!
….and I should not….NOT! Be recording this moment for future or even present reference but…
Seriously?
SERIOUSLY?!?!
WTF Stupid stupid idiotic CRAPULANCE!
I’m pissed I’m pissed I’m pissed!!!
The show went GREAT. I am riding on adrenaline and covered in fresh bruises and blood but it went GREAT in the Gad damn nearing RENOWNED sense and no one….NO ONE….should presume to have the right to take a shit on my parade if they know whats good and correct in all these damned blue world!!
Further you are giving me empathy for people I DO NOT WISH to have empathy for and brother, that ain’t good for EITHER of us if you follow me…
PISSED!!!!!!!!!!
mirrors
Lets build something that never dies
you tear down the night
kiss the stars good-bye
& I fold up the moon
carry all her light
we’ll still be alright
alright alright
cause I see me in your eyes
Let’s go somewhere you’d never go
cause we been to the show
& we ain’t been takin it slow
so I’ll show you the dirty tree I used to climb
and you can cringe and follow me inside
I think you’ll survive
survive survive
when you see you’re in my eyes
She had tried to forget him, realizing the inutility of remembering. But the thought of him was like an obsession, ever pressing itself upon her. It was not that she dwelt upon details of their acquaintance, or recalled in any special or peculiar way his personality; it was his being, his existence, which dominated her thought, fading sometimes as if it would melt into the mist of the forgotten, reviving again with an intensity which filled her with an incomprehensible longing.
“
| — | The Awakening by Kate Chopin (via quote-book) |
